Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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