he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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