Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
