Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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