3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
