I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
