you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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