I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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