so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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