Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
