wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
