I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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