I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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