hell yes lets make some ravioli
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
