standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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