My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
