just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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