Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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