He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
