i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My balls are so social today.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
