i would punch a child for taco bell
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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