why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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