the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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