She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
