pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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