Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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