Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
