It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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