Non-Jews are for practice
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
