He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
