you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
