): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
