I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
