she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
