I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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