This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
