She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
