I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
