just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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