Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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