So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize