but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
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Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD