i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
