Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
