Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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