I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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