with your own penis?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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