In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
