Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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