the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
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Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
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New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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