so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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