No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
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My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
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I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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