every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
