her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
even my farts smell like vagina
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
