i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
