PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
