we have officially lost it.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
