He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
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Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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