Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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