in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Randomize
