It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
