The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and she was petting her beer can
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
