sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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