OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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