So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My vagina is officially offended.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
