Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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