weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
